Helping multiples and their loved ones to remember the music
| Signs and Symptoms of Child Abuse |
| If you suspect child abuse, but aren't sure, look for clusters of the following physical and behavioral signs. |
| Some signs of physical abuse |
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-Unexplained burns, cuts, bruises, or welts in the shape of an object or in various stages of healing -Improbable excuses or refusal to explain injuries -Wearing clothes to cover injuries, even in hot weather -Refusal to undress for gym -Bald patches -Chronic running away -Fear of medical help or examination -Fear of physical contact - shrinking back if touched -Admitting that they are punished, but the punishment is excessive (such as a child being beaten every night to 'make him study') -Fear of suspected abuser being contacted -Bite marks -Anti-social behavior or agression -Problems in school -Fear of adults -Drug or alcohol abuse -Self-destructive or suicidal behavior -Depression or poor self-image |
| Some signs of emotional abuse |
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-Physical, mental and emotional development lags -Sudden speech disorders -Continual self-depreciation ('I'm stupid, ugly, worthless, etc') -Overreaction to mistakes -Extreme fear of any new situation -Inappropriate response to pain ('I deserve this') -Neurotic behaviour (rocking, hair twisting, self-mutilation) -Extremes of passivity or aggression -Apathy -Depression -Hostility -Lack of concentration -Eating disorders |
| Some signs of sexual abuse |
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-Inappropriate interest in or knowledge of sexual acts -Seductiveness -Avoidance of things related to sexuality, or rejection of own genitals or bodies -Nightmares and bedwetting -Drastic changes in appetite -Overcompliance or excessive aggression -Fear of a particular person or family member -Withdrawal, secretiveness, or depression -Suicidal behavior -Eating disorders, sudden loss of appetite or compulsive eating -Self-injury -Medical problems such as chronic itching, pain in the genitals, venereal diseases -Running away -Drug or alcohol abuse -Personality changes such as becoming insecure or clinging -Regressing to younger behaviour patterns such as thumb sucking or bringing out discarded cuddly toys -Inability to concentrate -Lack of trust or fear of someone they know well, such as not wanting to be alone with a babysitter or child minder -Become worried about clothing being removed -Suddenly drawing sexually explicit pictures -Trying to be 'ultra-good' or perfect; overreacting to criticism |
| Sometimes there are no obvious physical signs of sexual abuse, and a physician must examine the child to confirm the abuse. |
| Some signs of neglect |
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-Unsuitable clothing for weather -Being dirty or unbathed, poor personal hygiene -Extreme hunger -Apparent lack of supervision -Constant tiredness -Emaciation -Untreated medical problems -No social relationships -Compulsive scavenging -Destructive tendencies |
| Note: A child may be subjected to a combination of different kinds of abuse. It is also possible that a child may show no outward signs and hide what is happening from everyone |
| How do I know if I am in an abusive relationship? What are the signs and symptoms of an abusive relationship? |
| The more of the following questions that you answer Yes to, the more likely you are in an abusive relationship. Examine your answers and seek help if you find that you respond positively to a large number of the questions. |
| Your inner feelings and dialogue: Fear, self-loathing, numbness, desperation |
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-Are you fearful of your partner a large percentage of the time? -Do you avoid certain topics or spend a lot of time figuring out how to talk about certain topics so that you do not arouse your partner's negative reaction or anger? -Do you ever feel that you can't do anything right for your partner? -Do you ever feel so badly about yourself that you think you deserve to be physically hurt? -Have you lost the love and respect that you once had for your partner? -Do you sometimes wonder if you are the one who is crazy, that maybe you are overreacting to your partner's behaviors? -Do you sometimes fantasize about ways to kill your partner to get them out of your life? -Are you afraid that your partner may try to kill you? -Are you afraid that your partner will try to take your children away from you? -Do you feel that there is nowhere to turn for help? -Are you feeling emotionally numb? -Were you abused as a child, or did you grow up with domestic violence in the household? Does domestic violence seem normal to you? |
| Your partner's lack of control over their own behavior |
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-Does your partner have low self-esteem? Do they appear to feel powerless, ineffective, or inadequate in the world, although they are outwardly successful? -Does your partner externalize the causes of their own behavior? Do they blame their violence on stress, alcohol, or a "bad day"? -Is your partner unpredictable? -Is your partner a pleasant person between bouts of violence? |
| Your partner's violent or threatening behavior |
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-Does your partner have a bad temper? -Has your partner ever threatened to hurt you or kill you? -Has your partner ever physically hurt you? -Has your partner threatened to take your children away from you, especially if you try to leave the relationship? -Has your partner ever threatened to commit suicide, especially as a way of keeping you from leaving? -Has your partner ever forced you to have sex when you didn't want to? -Has your partner threatened you at work, either in person or on the phone? -Is your partner cruel to animals? -Does your partner destroy your belongings or household objects? |
| Your partner's controlling behavior |
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-Does your partner try to keep you from seeing your friends or family? -Are you embarrassed to invite friends or family over to your house because of your partner's behavior? -Has your partner limited your access to money, the telephone, or the car? -Does your partner try to stop you from going where you want to go outside of the house, or from doing what you want to do? -Is your partner jealous and possessive, asking where you are going and where you have been, as if checking up on you? Do they accuse you of having an affair? |
| Your partner's diminishment of you |
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-Does your partner verbally abuse you? -Does your partner humiliate or criticize you in front of others? -Does your partner often ignore you or put down your opinions or contributions? -Does your partner always insist that they are right, even when they are clearly wrong? -Does your partner blame you for their own violent behavior, saying that your behavior or attitudes cause them to be violent? -Is your partner often outwardly angry with you? -Does your partner objectify and disrespect women? Does your partner see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person? |
| How can I tell if someone in my workplace is in an abusive relationship? What are the warning signs that a person is a victim of domestic violence? |
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Domestic violence often plays out in the workplace. For instance, a husband, wife, girlfriend, or boyfriend might make threatening phone calls to their intimate partner or ex-partner. Or the worker may show injuries from physical abuse at home. If you witness a cluster of the following warning signs in the workplace, you can reasonably suspect domestic abuse: |
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-Bruises and other signs of impact on the skin, with the excuse of "accidents" especially if they are in various stages of healing -Depression, crying or overreacting -Frequent and sudden absences -Frequent lateness -Frequent, harassing phone calls to the person while they are at work -Fear of the partner, references to the partner's anger -Decreased productivity and attentiveness -Isolation from friends and family -Insufficient resources to live (money, credit cards, car) |
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