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Flashbacks
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What is a flashback?
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Flashbacks are memories of past traumas. You may not "see" or "hear" anything but rather experience smells, body sensations, feelings or the lack of them (numbness) that have nothing to do with the present moment. The flashback can be "just" a sense of panic, being trapped, or feeling powerless with no memory stimulating it. I say "just" because if you have ever had this type of flashback, you know how excruciating it can be. You may also have vivid memories of the trauma replaying in a way that makes it seem as though they are happening now.
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Are you having a flashback?
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If your feelings or sensations are not related to the immediate circumstances in which you are (for example, you are holding a trusted partner and suddenly feel terrified) or in general experience feelings stronger than called for in the present situation, you are likely experiencing a flashback. You are not going crazy. Flashbacks are a normal part of the healing process.
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Why do flashbacks happen?
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When our minds can't "process" the emotional and physical horrors of trauma, we isolate those feelings and are unable to express the feelings and thoughts of that time. It is as though we put that part into a time capsule until we are ready to deal with it in the present.
The intense feelings and body sensations occurring during a flashback are so frightening because the feelings or sensations are not related to the reality of the present and many times seem to come from nowhere. Remember, you are not going crazy. Flashbacks mean that you are healing. Flashbacks are completely natural reactions to trauma and while they are frightening, they are actually quite healthy.
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What helps during a flashback?
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- Tell yourself that you are having a flashback. This takes a little practice, but eventually you will be able to "understand" that what is happening is normal even as it happens.
- Remind yourself that the worst is over. The feelings and sensations you are experiencing are memories of the past. The actual event already took place and you survived. Now it is time to let out that terror, rage, hurt, panic. Now is the time to honor your experience, to accept what happened and to allow yourself to grieve.
- Get grounded. This means finding things to help you focus on your current surroundings and the reality of the situation. You must help yourself to reconnect with the present so that you can remember that whatever you are remembering is not actually happening now.
 for a list of grounding techniques
- Keep breathing. When we get scared we stop normal breathing. As a result, our body begins to panic from the lack of oxygen. Lack of oxygen in itself causes a great deal of panic feelings: pounding in the head, tightness, sweating, feeling faint, shakiness, dizziness. When we breathe deeply enough, a lot of the panic feeling can decrease. Breathing deeply means putting your hand on your diaphragm and breathing deeply enough so that your diaphragm pushes against your hand and then exhaling so that the diaphragm goes in. Try to focus entirely on your breathing. It is hard for the feelings of panic to continue when you are focused entirely on something else.
- Reorient to the present. Begin to use your five senses in the present. Look around and see the colors in the room, the shapes of things, the people nearby. Listen to the sounds around you: your breathing, traffic, birds, people, cars. Feel your body and what is touching it: your clothes, your own arms and hands, the chair or floor supporting you. If possible find something with the date such as a newspaper, mobile phone or your computer clock. Read the date over to yourself several times to help your brain remember that this is now.
- Speak to yourself and reasure yourself. It is very healing to tell yourself that now you can get out if you need to, that it is OK to feel the feelings of the traumatic event without actual physical danger. Tell yourself that it is safe to experience the feelings or sensations and let go of the past. Give yourself permission to be honest about your feelings and to express them in a healthy, positive way.
- Get in touch with your needs for boundaries. Sometimes when we are having a flashback we lose the sense of where we leave off and the world begins; as if we do not have skin. Wrap yourself in a blanket, hold a pillow or stuffed animal, go to bed, sit in a closet ... any way that you can feel yourself truly protected from the outside. Be very careful here about touches from supportive people around you. While they can be extremely helpful once the flashback has subsided, they can actually be detrimental during it as they can cause the flashback to feel even more real.
- Get support. Depending on your situation, you may need to be alone or may want someone near you. In either case, it is important that your support people know about flashbacks so they can help with the process, whether that means letting you be by yourself or being there. Be honest about what you are feeling. It is a good idea to have support people in place before the flashback hits and to have agreements with them as to what you want them to do and not do. Remember, it's your responsibility to get a support system in place, and communication is the key.
- Take time to recover. Sometimes flashbacks are very powerful. Give yourself the time to make the transition from this powerful experience. Don't expect yourself to jump into adult activities right away. Take a nap, or a warm bath, or some quiet time. Do not beat yourself up for having a flashback. We find it very helpful to journal after a flashback to remind us later what may have triggered it and what we felt.
- Honor your experience. Appreciate yourself for having survived that horrible time. Respect your body's need to experience those feelings of long ago. Remember, no matter what happened it was absolutely not your fault. You survived a terrible ordeal and you should be proud of yourself. Do not beat yourself up for your feelings, not matter what they are, they are understandable, acceptable and necessary.
for ways of honoring and remembering not only those who have been lost, but those parts of ourselves which have been lost as well
- Be patient. It takes time to heal the past. It takes time to learn appropriate ways of taking care of yourself, of being an adult who has feelings, and developing effective ways of coping in the here and now. Try not to rush too much. You really will be ok in time. Take it all one day, one hour, one minute at a time and eventually, I promise, the sun really will come out.
- Find a competent therapist. Look for a therapist who understands the processes of healing from whatever trauma you experienced (incest, rape, war). A therapist can be a guide, a support, a coach in this healing process.
for links to help you find a therapist or  for offline therapy resources.
- Join a self-help group. Survivors are wonderful allies in this process of healing. It is a healing thing to share your process with others who understand so deeply what you are going through. It is inspirational to hear the stories and ideas of others who have walked this path before you, and, believe it or not, your story is likely helpful and inspoirational for others who are struggling to heal.
for links to various online and offline support groups
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